Food for thought

As a nonprofit fundraiser, I'm always looking for tips and advice from industry press, including a daily email I receive from the Case Consulting Services. Once a week, they share inspirational quotes, and I just had to share and document this one somewhere:

"What the new year brings to you will depend 
on what you bring to the new year." 

- Vera McLellan

What will I bring to the New Year? I'd love to bring energy, positivity (apparently that's not a real word, but I like it so...) and selflessness.

Here I am, getting caught up again in New Year's resolutions!

To resolve or not

I have a love-hate relationship with the New Year.

On the plus side, there's the excitement of a clean slate--the decisive end of what's past and opportunities arising from consciously embracing a new start. It's a chance to evaluate what was good about the year, and identify opportunities for growth in the coming weeks and months to come.

As I get older, though, there also comes a certain sense of dread. The thought of: "What am I going to resolve and not accomplish this year?" In other words, how am I setting myself up for failure?

I've tried many different ways to set realistic resolutions: making them measurable, time-driven, specific (setting SMART goals). I've tried bribery: If I accomplish X, then I can do Y. I've tried chucking all of my resolutions into one major goal of changing "try" into "do." (Just do it! Don't think about it so much and procrastinate! In fact, I think that was a post I wrote one year ago on this very blog.)

Yet the allure and temptation of self-improvement, coupled with a fresh start, is irresistible. And so I find myself here, once again, thinking about how I can make 2015 a great year.

In an ideal world--in my perfect, inhuman life--my days/weeks would look something like this:

• Sunday - attend church, hike or take a gym class, grocery shop and cook/package healthy meals for the week, meal plan, tidy the house.
• Monday through Friday - get to the gym or out for a run at 6am four or five days, arrive at work by 9am at the latest, work a full & productive day, eat a healthy dinner, meet up with friends or do whatever is scheduled for the evening, be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00.
• Saturday - early morning long run, followed by a day open to rest, relaxation and/or time with friends.

Of course, that's not what my life looks like these days. My Sundays are generally very productive (cleaning, laundry, errands, cooking), but whether I make it to church and/or workout is always questionable. Saturdays work well when I train with my running group. Though lately, in my coaching role I haven't been completing the runs.

On weekdays, I typically don't get home from whatever I have planned until 9 or later, meaning that by the time I wrap up the day (dishes, tidying, get ready for bed) and prepare for the next (lay out clothes/gym clothes, prep food for work), it's often close to 11. I go to bed late, so early mornings feel impossible, so workouts don't happen as often as they should. I sleep later than I should and end up rolling into work around 9:30 on a decent day, and shove workout gear into a bag that ends up sitting in my car. By the time I've worked a full day, it's often after 6pm, and trying to wrangle in an evening workout in the winter (dark) is virtually impossible... or I have plans in the evening that won't allow me time to workout, or I need to be presentable for them (read: not sweaty and dressed in running clothes). I feel awful because I'm not working out, so it becomes a vicious cycle. I eat less healthy because of time crunches or stress, which compounds the general feeling of being off kilter from where I want to be, and how I want to feel.

Because I think this makes my life sound less than ideal, let me clarify that I generally feel very happy with my life. I do a pretty good job of trying to hit my goals (healthy eating, active lifestyle, active social life), and I rarely lose sight of how important they are, even if I'm not always living in a way that advances them. I'm happy to be someone who cares about trying to live a good life.

So what do I do with all of this as 2015 approaches?

The fact of the matter is I know what I need to do to get closer to that "ideal" world version of my life. Eat well, exercise, get to bed earlier, and not overbook my weeknight calendar.

I'm going to focus on one step at a time. The first is food, and so I'll join in the national Whole 30 taking place in January. Having successfully completed one Whole 30, I know how much of a ripple effect it has on my general well being. And so I'll start there. 

It's not a resolution. As my coworker pointed out, it's a gift to myself. One month dedicated to taking extra care of myself. 

I make no promises this time about documenting my Whole 30, but I'd like to post any neat recipes or successes, challenges, or triumphs here.

Til 2015...

Whole 30 is ON

Well, it's August 1 and time for a committed, full Whole 30. Here's my plan for this second time around (I've had a few teases with it this year, but this is the full shebang, "I'm doing this" time.) It's a site-wide challenge led by the Whole 30 folks themselves--check it out!

• Instead of posting daily menus, I'm going to aim for occasional posts of things I really loved (see below for the frittata muffins I had for breakfast today) and a weekly wrap up with a daily summary of how the day went.
• I'm going to do my best to be compliant--but I'm not going to make myself crazy about a few things. My prosciutto isn't perfect. My sunflower seed butter (to be eaten in limited amounts!) has sugar in the ingredient list (though 0g per serving). I will be making banana/egg pancakes occasionally and drinking smoothies that aren't 100% perfect. But I will remain true to the spirit of the challenge and strive to do as well as I can.
• I plan to focus on slowly and methodically reintroducing foods after the challenge. First up: cheese. Second up: beans.

I'm excited to get going again! Now for those frittata muffins. I used this recipe from Nom Nom Paleo. But I didn't have those exact veggies around. Here's what I did:

• Sauteed shallot in ghee, then added garlic, then about 4 leaves of kale pulled off the stem and torn into small pieces. After the kale was cooked partway, I added a touch of water then covered the pan to steam it a little more.
• Egg mixture was as indicated, though I only used 4 eggs and so halved the coconut milk and coconut flour. I used dried basil and parsley as well as red pepper flakes to season the egg mixture.

It was a delicious, filling breakfast, and the best part is I have leftovers to get me through the weekend. I'll definitely be making this recipe again.

And so here I go! 30 days of meat, veggies, healthy fats and fruit. Yum!

August 1 is a new start

This year, I've confirmed a few things I'd already kinda known. There are a two big things that happened that I need to share for context first, though:

#1 - I ran a 20-mile trail run in February. I'm SO glad I did it. But it also burned me out on running, and I've essentially stopped running since then. (I've been picking back up the last two months, but I'm still not in a consistent routine again.)

#2 - I bought my first home. The whole shebang: searching, mortgage, offer, inspection, closing, moving, closing out lease on apartment, moved.

Now, with that in mind, here are some truths about me:

• I am a creature of routine, and disturbing my routine (through something like moving) takes me weeks to recover from, and so even though I moved in early June, I am just now starting to get back into a workout routine. And breaking my running routine? Bad idea. Big, bad, bad idea. (Shoulda, coulda, woulda.)
• I am a stress eater. And the best comfort foods for me involve bread and cheese in copious amounts. Bagels & cream cheese, crackers and cheese/pimento cheese, sandwiches, pizza, chips & queso. 
• Self-restraint? Not so much. Options tend to be "eat it all" or "throw it away so I don't eat it all."
• I am a convenience eater. If I'm running late, or I've worked late and I'm hungry, it is so easy to justify picking up the aforementioned bread & cheese meals versus even making some eggs, oatmeal, stir-fry, grilled chicken, etc. (all those healthy but also easy to make foods).
• When I'm not eating well, I don't feel good, and I wake up exhausted, so I don't exercise. It's a vicious cycle!
• I feel so good when I'm eating well, and when I make good food choices (e.g., salads over fries, veggies over cheese).
• I am more alert and less moody when I eat well.
• I feel more confident when I'm on a roll of healthy eating and exercising.

All of these truths are leading up to the revelation that I finally stepped on the scale last week, and I have gained at least 9 pounds this year. No joke. I feel out of control and stressed most of the time. And I am in this awful cycle of trying to clean up my diet, then gorging and feeling guilt, then trying to clean up, then gorging. You get the picture!

Am I hard on myself? Yes. But I also know that the bottom line right now is that I don't feel good, and I want to, and cleaning up my diet and exercising are the keys to that. I will lose weight when I do that, which is good because my jeans looked much better on me a few months ago, but this is less about the number on the scale and more about living in a way I know makes me feel better and is, in fact, better for me.

So it's time for me to recommit to a healthy lifestyle. My half-marathon training picks back up next week, so the running will be taken care of. I'm also working on building gym classes and high intensity interval training workouts into my routine.

And, conveniently, the Whole 9 website will be running a site-wide Whole 30 challenge beginning on August 1st. Accountability is key for me, and so I will be blogging my menus once again starting August 1.

I look forward to feeling better, having clearer skin again (oh, I didn't mention the huge cystic acne I'm fighting right now?) and having some more breathing room in my clothes.

As far as long-term goals, I plan to follow the Whole 30 and, unlike last time, test reintroducing foods in September. Dairy first (because I hope my life includes cheese in moderation!), then beans/legumes. Let's do this!

Quick Post: Try 2, Day 1

Nothing like picking a challenging day to start Whole 30! But I did the best I could.

Here's what I ate:

• Breakfast: My go-to protein smoothie with almond milk, cinnamon, frozen banana and vanilla protein powder, and black coffee
• Lunch: Ground beef chili with cocoa powder and chipotle chiles (plus red pepper, onion, and diced tomatoes), with sliced strawberries
• Snack: A few slices of dried mango, and a large handful of pistachios later in the afternoon.
• Dinner: I didn't quite look over the menu when I suggested a meeting place for dinner with friends, but I think this place ended up working pretty well. I had Brussels sprouts with pancetta and seasonings (ate around the Parmesan, though I'm pretty sure there was butter in there) along with a green salad with grilled chicken. Again, no guarantees that the chicken was 100% compliant, but overall I felt good about the meal.
• Dessert: Still a habit to want something sweet after dinner, so I had a tiny pink lady apple. I will break this habit like I did last time.

I wanted to badly to start the week and my Whole 30 with a morning run, but I was exhausted when I woke up this morning, as I have been recently. I think I'm in a vicious cycle: not exercising means I'm not sleeping as well and have lower energy levels, which makes me feel more tired and not want to exercise. It's a cycle I need to break NOW.

And the good news is that I did manage to get out for a 3 mile run after work. My lungs burned the whole time but I was so happy to be out there... I realized how much I've missed running like that. On my own, on the roads.

Onward!

Time to restart

Okay. I am failing at my second Whole 30. I have loads of excuses, but no really good reasons. So I will start over on Day 1 next Monday, Feb. 17. (I am being realistic about a weekend out of town visiting my family.)

Why I'm struggling:

• Though it doesn't excuse me dropping the ball on Whole 30, I'm currently spending a week away from home while I house and pet sit. It is easier when you have your own kitchen and supplies to stick to the plan. 
• I am eating way too much sugar in the form of dried fruit and fresh fruit.
• I am not eating enough vegetables... I'm mostly eating sweet potatoes and carrots, which means I'm hardly getting any greens or other non-starchy veggies.
• Again, tied into not being at home, but my breakfasts haven't been as satisfying as I need them to be, which gets my day off to an off-kilter start.
• I am not exercising. At all. I attempted a run last Saturday, but between taking care of the dog in the morning, staying up late because I actually have access to cable right now, and weather conditions, nothing is happening. I am CRAVING a good workout.
• I am not listening to my body, so I'm cleaning my plate when I probably don't need to most of the time.
• While I do still intend to make an exception for alcohol, in the last 10 days I've made too many other exceptions. I get one exception: a drink when I'm on a date. That's it.

The other thing I think will help is that I will have had two weeks of laziness after Uwharrie, but I created a new workout schedule for myself to get me through my half-marathon in April. I think getting back into a training routine will help--I'm always more disciplined in other areas of my life when I have a good exercise routine going, so it just needs to happen.

So there's the update! I'll be back next week and ready to start again, stronger and with greater resolve. In the meantime, I'll enjoy a snow day tomorrow and a weekend on a modified Whole 30.

Then it's back on Whole 30, and back on track.

W-30 Take 2, Day 2

Day 2... I slept horribly last night. Kept waking up, had very stressful dreams, couldn't get comfortable. I know it's a combination of not working out (recovering from my race and trying to let my blister heal) and likely the lack of junk food!

I tried to get up to work out this morning but didn't have a real plan, so that fell through. Note to self: Put it on calendar and commit.

Here's what I ate:

Morning:

• My go-to protein smoothie (not 100% Whole 30 because I use protein powder, which isn't approved even though it's from a veggie source) with almond milk (NO carrageenan!), almond butter (no added sugar), a frozen banana and ground cinnamon.
• Black coffee.
• Finished up that dried mango (note to self: can't keep this stuff around).

Afternoon:

• Turkey & sweet potato chili.
• 2 clementines.
• A few raw veggies with a smidgen of tahini dressing.
• Snack of Larabar Carrot Cake flavor.

Night:

• Sweet potato

Tomorrow, my goal is to a 6am Spin Class, work, eat well, and get a decent night's sleep.

A New Whole 30 (plus alcohol)

Saturday, I wrapped up training for my latest endurance event: a 20-mile trail run in the Uwharrie Forest in NC. It was a grueling event (made worse by a blister on my baby toe that popped the night before the race... and worsened with every mile I ran of the race).

The race itself would make a good post, so I may try to get to that this week. Suffice it to say, it was incredibly challenging and not something I think you could truly prepare for without regularly running the course itself. Steep climbs, frequent stream crossings, mud pits, and rocky terrain, coupled with leaf or pine straw covered trails, made for a challenging, exhausting day of running.

As someone new to the Paleo lifestyle and still experimenting with it, I wasn't at a point where I felt prepared to train without my historic go-to staples, like pre-run bagels. (To be honest, a lot of it tied into convenience, too.) So the closer the race got, the worse my diet became... a bagel with egg soon added cheese, then I started eating bagels with just cream cheese again throughout the week, then cheese and crackers for dinner now & then, then pizza became my pre-long run dinner. My eating habits these last four weeks quickly devolved into my poor diet before my first Whole 30 in November. (My waistline tells the tale!)

So it is with some relief that today I've started another Whole 30. I'm surprised at how comfortable it feels to slide back into it and know that my food decisions are being made for me... a sign that I really am better off with the "all or nothing" approach because moderation isn't something I've mastered. Guess it's good to "know thyself," right?

That said, I am planning to keep alcohol in my diet this month. Why? Well, first of all, I really don't drink all that much--maybe one or two drinks a week. (It's one of the areas of food where I'm able to be completely moderate.)

Second, being on the dating scene and not drinking (especially when you normally drink) is a hassle--it's nice to have the option to meet someone for a casual drink when you're getting to know him.

Third, I enjoy having a cocktail or glass of wine when I'm out with friends. So drinking in moderation will be allowed. (I will avoid cocktails with sugar, and I foresee my preferred choice of drink being whiskey or bourbon on the rocks.) I know this approach will seem blasphemous to Whole 30 purists, and others may find my reasoning lame... but it's my approach and I feel good about it.

So, all that said, here's what I ate on Day #1:

• Breakfast of 2 eggs scrambled with a chopped chipotle pepper in adodo sauce, one piece of pan-fried prosciutto, and half of a plantain pan-fried in coconut oil and seasoned with salt. I drank my coffee (unsweet chocolate lavender infused flavor) without any creamer. 
• Mid-morning, I snacked on some dried, unsulfured/unsweetened mango strips. I suspect snacking is as much about habit/boredom than hunger at this point and I'll soon break myself of the habit.
• Lunch was a soup with sausage, collard greens, Japanese sweet potato and a little bit of coconut milk adapted from this recipe. (I also used a spicy cilantro chicken sausage instead of Italian sausage, and added a pinch of ground ginger.) I supplemented the soup with some raw veggies (carrot, tomatoes, celery) and two spears of pineapple for some sweetness.
• An afternoon snack comprised some cashews and more dried mango. I was feeling ravenous... my body has become so accustomed to gorging the last two weeks that I'm sure it's protesting!
• I get huge points for resisting the free dinner option I had of BBQ chicken, delicious looking macaroni & cheese, cornbread and apple crumble. I realized that I wasn't really prepared to eat Whole 30 this week (I need to make some more food!) so I headed to the store and grabbed a rotisserie chicken and salad with Tahini dressing, olives, sunflower seeds, and veggies. My sugar demon, as the Whole 30 folks would say, is in full force, so I closed out the meal with an orange.

I will once again do my best to check in a few times a week and update you on Round #2 of Whole 30! I'm curious to see how it all plays out this time around. And looking forward to feeling better on healthier foods again!

2014: Resolving to turn Should into Did

It is January 2nd, and I am on day 1 of a second Whole 30. Honestly, it may end up being a Whole 14, or Whole 21, or a Whole 30 90% of the time, but I have seen concrete, negative effects from all the sugar and flour I ate throughout the holidays. So it's time to get back to feeling better.

Signs I need this? My skin is breaking out more than it did, I feel bloated, I've put back on 2-3 pounds in the last two weeks, and my moods are definitely not quite so even-keeled as they were on the Whole 30 eating plan, even when I had relaxed to doing it about 80% of the time. Oh, and the heart palpitations are turning up more frequently once again.

I don't regret letting go a bit for the holidays, just as I'm feeling good about resuming pursuing a cleaner diet. It's all about balance.

There are two obstacles I'm fighting now... I'm ready to get over them! First, the sugar demon got me again, so I am craving sugar all the time and always wanting that bite of chocolate or candy after my meals. I know this craving will go away when I stop giving in. Second, I must have stretched my stomach because I can eat so much, all day long. I know that will regulate, too, once my body adapts and I start eating mindfully once again.

For 2014, my resolution is turn more of my "I shoulds" into "I dids." So:

• I should go for a run = I did go for a run
• I should call my friend to catch up with her = I did call her
• I should be better about keeping up with a Bible study plan... you get the picture.

As Yoda says, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." Instead of thinking of what I should do, and coming up with excuses to not do it (I'm tired, I don't want to be sore tomorrow from strength training, she probably won't answer), I need to just do it. Less thought, more action.

So that is my resolution for 2014. Onward!