Warning: Gushy, sappy running post. Read at your own risk.

It's hard to summarize my running life for the last few months, in the time that has passed since my posts at the start of our half-marathon training program. And yet here I am, a little more than a week away from our goal race in Savannah. The gist of it all has been that I've fallen even more in love with running.

I love the way running feels, the way it makes me feel. I love the slow, long weekend runs, and the quicker tempo weeknight runs, the runs where my legs feel like they might fall off, and the runs where I feel like I'm flying. I love pacing myself with even breaths in and out, and I love my (recently acquired) Garmin forerunner. I love the ladies I've been training with, and I love my solo morning or evening runs.

Sure, some days are harder than others to get out there. But with running, I've found an outlet for the stress in my life and a pride in being a runner. If I don't run for a few days, I get crabby and feel unsettled. Every time I'm out there, and especially on the runs that feel "less good," I remember that I'm already winning the battle just by being out there and on my feet.

Above all, though, I'm just grateful that I found running, and that I have the luxury of being a runner. I am grateful that I have and can make time to run three or four times a week. That I don't need to arrange for childcare to be able to run yet--though that time may yet come. That I can afford to buy new shoes when I need them and can continue to invest in more technical gear (long gone are my days of running in cotton tees). I'm so grateful that I have the desire and the commitment, and the health, to be a runner.

I think there are a few keys to a successful relationship with running, things that I know now that I didn't know then, before I really was a runner:

1) Commitment. My all-time favorite quote is from a Starbucks cup I got a few years back. Anne Morris, "A Starbucks customer," said:

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

When you commit to running, you let go of the fear that people are going to stare at you and judge you when you run past them or with them; that you're too slow or not fit enough; that you might get injured or overtrain; that you can't maintain a routine. In the immortal--and apt--words of Nike, "Just do it." Just get out there and do it. Run/walk to get started, and build up your time gradually. Do it.

2) A Goal Race. All that stuff about commitment said, committing to a goal race is a huge motivator. Whether it's a 5K or a half-marathon, or a full marathon, it's hugely helpful to have your eye on your goal race when your training runs get tough, or you are having trouble finding the motivation to lace up and get out your door. Plus, races are fun, and you get cool swag. And maybe even a medal. There's also that helpful race registration fee--once you pay it, you won't want to waste it by backing out. See point #1 re: commitment.

3) Lighten up. Don't be hard on yourself. So you missed a run? Okay. Make the next one. Add a little distance if you can. No biggie if you can't. So you sweat a lot when you run? Okay. So do a lot of people. It makes your post-run shower than much better. So you get out of breath? Know what makes that go away? More running. Don't be hard on yourself. Do what you can, but don't be afraid to push yourself a little. And, most importantly, make sure you smile every once in a while when you're out there. You're running--that's great! Smile!

4) Find a running group. You don't necessarily have to pay for a training program: Places like Fleet Feet have free social runs, and Meetup.com has lots of running groups. Or, ideally, you would sign up for a training program, which takes care of points #1 and #2. You'll most likely meet at least one person with whom you really enjoy running (see point #3). I fully credit my Fleet Feet training group with making me into a runner. The regular meetings, the peer group of runners, the collegiality... the structure of being given a planned route and training program. With all of those factors, you can't possibly fail or make excuses.

Clearly, I'm on a runners high. I hope I am for a long, long time. I'm eagerly anticipating Savannah. The great news is that--following up from a disappointing half-marathon in April (I crashed, no slammed, into a wall at mile 8 and ended up three minutes slower than my walk/run race in 2009)--we ran 13.1 last weekend. And I knocked five minutes off of my fastest time, setting a new PR. So no matter what happens at Savannah, I already know that I'm capable of running the full distance faster than I used to be able to. And that feels great.

As we taper, I'm already missing the longer weeknight runs, but I know tapering is a necessary evil. My legs were pretty tired after our 3-mile run last night, so rest in the next week and a half will be necessary.

And I'm already plotting my next few months of training... using my yoga Groupon, maintaining long runs at 5-8 miles, and then preparing to start a new training program in January. I can't wait.

Laying groundwork

This summer, I have decided, is all about laying groundwork. While I don't have any firm plans or goals in mind (beyond my half-marathon, of course), I've been using this time as an exploratory period in my fitness life. By that, I mean that I'm trying a whole lot of things to see what I like best. Allow me to elaborate:

Running: I know I love running, so this is a no brainer. To switch things up and keep it interesting, I've taken on a mentoring role in my half-marathon training program. So far, I LOVE it. (That's another post to come.)

Hiking: Another no brainer. I haven't been hiking as much this summer, really, but I know I'll pick it back up when the weather cools down a bit more. I love being out in the woods and getting all that fresh air!

Crossfit: I used a Groupon to take 6 Crossfit classes, and boy did they kick my butt. While I loved the classes, the main thing holding me back from making this a regular part of my routine is cost. It's just too darn expensive--I'm finding it'll be $80-$100 a month, just for two times a week. Added to that, I feel like once you know the exercises, you can do a lot of them on your own, unlike...

Yoga: I'm falling in love with yoga again after discovering a great Vinyasa/Yin class. We spend the first half of the class in flow, then the last bit holding (seated) poses for several minutes each. I lurv this! (lurv=seriously love) The meditative aspect is so powerful for me, and my tight runner's hamstrings have been appreciating the good stretch. So, if I'm going to shell out big bucks each month on fitness, it will be on yoga.

Biking: A good friend handed down her mountain bike to me, so I am overcoming my fear of going over the handlebars (been there, done that, don't want to do it again) and learning to love the rush of the wind when I go fast... it gives me a joyful feeling like I'm a kid again. My goal is to become comfortable with biking again--things like when to brake and how hard, learning how to maintain and care for a bike, and getting more adventurous in the trails I'm attempting.

Swimming: I have never been a strong swimmer. I grew up living down the street from a lake, and we would take our paddle boat out and swim, but I never quite mastered the art of swimming without nose plugs. (Parents: Do NOT let your children ever rely on nose plugs... ever.) But, this summer, I've been meeting up with a co-worker to swim 2-3 times a week at her community pool. It's not a huge pool, and we don't swim for too long, maybe 20-25 minutes, and I'm sure I look ridiculous because I don't really know appropriate form for any strokes. But, I'm enjoying it, and working on swimming without my nose plugged, and trying to get better at the freestyle (I mostly do a strange version of the breaststroke in which I keep my head out of the water). In an ideal world, next summer I will take lessons.

Rock climbing: I haven't tried this yet, but I did buy a two-week pass to a local climbing wall that includes an intro lesson. I am really excited to give this a go!

Strength training: Always my weakness--I'm so awful at building it into my routine--I'm just working on going straight to the gym after I run to do weights or using my Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred DVD (so intense... for real).

The whole point for me is just trying out new things to find new activities that I love and that will keep me, well, active. And, in the back of mind, there is a whisper of a thought that if I can become a stronger swimmer and more confident biker, there may be a triathlon in my future. Maybe. But I'm not putting this pressure on myself just yet.

For now, it's all about laying groundwork--getting fitter, having fun, keeping active, finding new things I love to do. Right now, it's about the journey, not the destination.

Become one with the heat

Growing up in Upstate NY, I tend to be a bit of a wuss about heat. I mean, c'mon. The humidity here in North Carolina is brutal. Hot for NY is somewhat humid in the 80s. Yesterday, our local heat index was over 100 degrees, and standing outside felt like standing in front of an open (hot) oven.

So, all day, I anxiously awaited news that our training program meeting--a 7 p.m. 3 mile run--would be cancelled. Surely it would be insanity to run in those temperatures, and we're supposed to be teaching our new participants safe, healthy running.

No cancellation news came.

In early afternoon, I innocuously tweeted at Fleet Feet, keeping it real casual, y'know--"Are the training programs still on tonight with the heat advisory?" Just in case they didn't realize it was HOT out. I hadn't heard back by 3:30 or so, so I finally bit the bullet and sent an email to our half-marathon coach. I admitted to him that I am a wuss when it comes to heat and asked if we were still on.

Reasonably, his response was (paraphrased): Yes, but I'll tell you what I plan to tell everyone tonight. If you get out there and feel awful, just stop, turn around and walk back. Don't risk the rest of your season on this one run, because it won't make or break your training program.

I knew I had to give it a shot. They had shortened our 3 mile route to 2.3 miles--I really couldn't justifiably say I couldn't handle that distance. So I went. And I ran. And I expected to be at about a 12-minute mile--crawling--and instead finished under a 10-minute mile.

Yes, I was a completely sweaty mess. I've never had that much sweat pooling at my lower back before, and I was sweating from places I didn't know could sweat. (TMI? Probably.)

Yes, I was so, so happy to finish at 2.3 instead of 3.

But, I was surprised at just how much fun it was. I met some great, friendly participants that I can't wait to run with again. I really felt like a runner, being out there in that heat. (What I found most interesting is that it is more uncomfortable to stop running--my skin was burning when I stopped--than it was during the run. You learn something new every day.)

And, I think I could've done the 3 miles.

And this is just another reason why I really love the Fleet Feet training program--it constantly pushes me to break through any mental barriers I erect for myself or any discomfort I might feel. There is absolutely no way I would've run in that weather on my own. But now I know that I can, and I don't really have the excuse "it's too hot to run" anymore... because it doesn't get too much hotter than that.

As my safety disclaimer, I will say that I drank loads of water yesterday, and I carried a water bottle with me while we ran, and I had more water in the car for when we finished. And I had loads of water after the run. So, hydration is key.

But, it was nice to feel that instead of trying to "beat the heat," in a way, I just became one with the heat. (For real.)

I'm a runner!

When I first strapped on my running shoes, way back in 2004, I was training for a half-marathon in Scotland. My reason for running was simple: Why not? The two years I lived overseas were all about saying "Yes!" and pushing myself into new experiences. So when a friend asked me to train and raise money for the Sick Kids hospital, I said "Yes!" Even though the last time I'd run was probably 1995 on the junior high track team.

It was hard. I built up from running 1-2 minutes at a time to running 10 to 15 to 30 minutes at a time, and it wasn't pretty. I was a wuss, big time.

I trained for my first 10K, and it went okay. Then I kind of stopped running. A year later, the same race came up, and I trained again, knocking a good 8 minutes off my time. And then I pretty much stopped running, apart from the occasional short treadmill workout. And I didn't really start running again until three years later in the fall of 2008.

That spring, I'd moved back to NC after a rough, emotionally draining year in SC. By the time I moved back, I was carrying more weight than normal, feeling out of sorts and struggling with the knowledge that my life wasn't all that it could or should be. So in the fall, I picked up my running shoes again, struggling to mete out 2-3 miles without walking in an effort to manage my weight.

And then I got this hair-brained idea to scare myself into running more by signing up for a half-marathon.

And I did. I trained, for a little over three months. And in May 2009, I ran, and walked, a half-marathon. I felt amazing, and I wanted to be a runner: by that I mean someone who enjoyed running, even needed running, and ran a few times a week.

Then work got tough. I was pulling 14-hour days for an intense spell. All exercise stopped. I was drained, stressed and once again packed on a few extra pounds and felt pretty much gross. When things finally slowed down last summer, I hopped on the treadmill and stayed there sporadically through the fall--which is where this blog picks up. I kept thinking that with the cooler weather in the fall I would run more, but then it was so dark, and I was so tired, and I didn't ever fall into a solid routine.

Enter my half-marathon training program (HMTP) at my local Fleet Feet. I began training with the group this January, and it has been a life changing experience. This time, you see, the running is sticking, and I credit the support and friends I found through the program.

In the past, I've always run for self-improvement: to lose weight, to be healthier, more active, because I should. I force myself to try to establish a routine, then get frustrated or stressed when I feel like the routine isn't sticking.

My Fleet Feet HMTP gave me a routine--two designated running dates a week that I could not, and would not, miss because I loved the people I was running with, and I loved the exhaustion and sense of accomplishment I felt after every long run. And I only had to focus on finding another day or two a week to run. I could do that.

I won't lie--my HMTP ended with a disappointing half-marathon performance (that's another blog post to come), so I was worried I would do what I'd always done... fall off the running wagon. To stay motivated, I agreed to participate in the HMTP again this summer (we start up tomorrow!), but this time as a mentor. Someone to help push others along and keep them motivated. You've gotta walk the walk, I figured.

Following the race in April, I kept up with my running at first because I knew I needed to maintain enough fitness to keep up conversation with my mentees while we ran. Then I ran because it was getting so gosh darn hot, and I needed to get used to it so I could even physically manage to run during the summer.

But along the way, something changed for me. I suddenly realized a few weeks in that running wasn't a chore I was doing to look or feel better. It was something I not only enjoyed, but I needed.

I need that time to just be. To focus on my breath and the fall of my steps on the pavement. To sweat it out. Running has become a form of meditation, and I can see a change in the way I'm handling stress at work or at home. I'm calmer and more confident. I'm not worried about what the scale says, and my clothes are fitting better than ever. And when I miss a run or two, I don't panic because I know that I'll get back out there again.

I'm a runner, you see, and that's just what we do. Lace up, and get out there and run.

Peer Pressure WORKS

Just a quick post to let the world know that I am here and continue to train for my half-marathon. Training is going remarkably well... joining my running group was the smartest, best decision I could've made. It's made running fun, and it's made long runs easier.

We meet every Tuesday evening for a run. We're up to 4.5 miles now (up from 3 miles in the initial weeks), but this coming week we'll do our first track workout. I'm really looking forward to the track workout--it'll be a nice change and fun to feel like a kid again!

We also meet early every Saturday morning for our long runs. We're up to the 6-7 mile range now. The long runs are definitely the greatest gift from my participation in the group.

I've NEVER enjoyed trying to talk while running, and I usually feel awful if I think I'm slowing someone down. Well, in this group, I've been fortunate to fall into line with a couple of other girls who are at a similar pace, so we've been sticking together on the long runs. I'm finding that talking while running gets easier as I get more fit, and that it is an amazing distraction that makes the run go faster. In short, I love it.

While running long distances alone is much harder (as I learned this past weekend), I'm comforted knowing that just having people around during the race itself will help.

And, this week, I set a new personal record when I ran 4.5 miles in 42 minutes. I haven't broken a 10-minute mile on a run that long before. I also banged out 3 miles in 28 minutes the other day, another PR. It's really exciting to see my pace improving. Heck, I'm just happy to be running at all, and happy to be running faster than an 11- or 12-minute mile.

Whatever else comes out of my training this spring, I feel confident that I'll continue to stay involved in my running group and may even look into mentoring the beginners' running group. I may even train for another half-marathon this year. But, let me finish training for this one first.

Cheers!

Peer pressure? Could work.

Progress.

Okay, so I didn't really follow my training plan for the week, but I managed to get in some good workouts, and I joined a running club that's training for a half-marathon the same weekend as mine! Boo-yah!

While I'm dreading the group's weekly 7am Saturday long runs (the Tuesday 6pm training runs should be no problem), I think it'll be really motivating for me to feel like I'm part of the group. It represents all ages and abilities, too, which is nice. I'm hoping to naturally fall into pace with a running partner or two, but even if that doesn't happen, it's fun to be part of the group! Here's to peer pressure and the powerful motivator of not wanting to let other people down...

So, here's my report (plan in normal font, results in bold):

Monday: Stretch & Strengthen

Um, not so much. But that's okay.

Tuesday: 3 mile run

Yes! I did this! And at a 10 min/mile pace... not too shabby after taking 6 weeks off!

Wednesday: 2 mile run or cross-train

Does playing with a 7-month-old baby count? Then I'm good.

Thursday: 3 mile run & strength training

I was way too sore from Tuesday's run for this...

Friday: Rest

I did an excellent job of this.

Saturday: 30 minutes cross-train

I did my first group run: 3 miles at 7am. (Wowsa, that was early.)

Sunday: 3.5 mile run

I switched plans mid-week to my running group's plan, which called for 60 minutes of cross training. And, I ended up hiking 6 miles in 1 hr 40 min AND walked another couple of miles with friends later in the afternoon. Take that, 60 minute plan.

So, that's the good news.

On the less good side, I'm definitely nervous about the poor condition I'm in. I'm pretty out of shape, so I'm going to have to make some fast progress and be really diligent about sticking to a training plan. And, I really need to focus on strength training. My legs are going to need to be much stronger to carry me up all the hills around here!

I've also reinstated my 10pm on Sunday blog deadline. I'm cutting myself some slack tonight because I did start typing before 10pm, and honestly, my legs got a heck of a workout today. I think squats will be detrimental at this point!

So, to wrap up, because it's a Sunday and I need my beauty sleep... here's this week's plan:

Monday: Run 3 miles

Tuesday (group run): Run 3 miles

Wednesday: Rest or XT

Thursday: Run 2 miles

Friday: Rest

Saturday (group run): Run 4 miles

Sunday: 60 min. walk or XT

We are expecting some inclement weather Monday/Tuesday, so I'll need to see how that all plays out. Good thing there's a treadmill at my gym!

At any rate, goodnight, and good luck. Peace and goodwill to all.

"Twenty-one-one, get it done"

Well, where did December go? It certainly flew by, and unfortunately it wasn't quite the "Mecember" I'd envisioned in terms of food & exercise. Ah well. Can't change what happened, so no use in beating myself up about it. (I did realize that I eat a shockingly sparse amount of vegetables... must keep working on that!)

New year, time to dust myself off and get out there again.

Rather than creating a bunch of resolutions I won't keep, I'm going to focus on just training for the half-marathon I've decided to run, scheduled for April 10. So, between now and then, I'll do my best to keep posting here about my journey. I've got my training schedule ready to go, too!

Here's this week's plan, from Hal Higdon:

Monday: Stretch & Strengthen

Tuesday: 3 mile run

Wednesday: 2 mile run or cross-train

Thursday: 3 mile run & strength training

Friday: Rest

Saturday: 30 minutes cross-train

Sunday: 3.5 mile run

All completely manageable, in spite of the fact that I haven't run in, oh, a month. Since I live about 5 minutes from a pilates studio that offers Monday night mat classes, maybe tonight is the night to check it out!

At any rate, I wish everyone out there a wonderful, successful 2011. On the radio this morning, the DJs were sharing their new year's mantra, which I think could be a good one for me:

"Twenty-one-one, get it done."

In other words: A little less talk, a lot more action.

So there.