Nervous + Excited = Nervcited?

Y'all, I am 2 weeks and 2 days from my 2nd marathon. And I am so excited/nervous (we need a word for that--nervcited?) for it. In fact, I'm already getting a little emotional about the whole process. It has been a journey, and I feel like I need to try to express some of what it's been like before I hit race day. Somewhere, this needs to be documented!

Starting point: Since I ran my first marathon in spring 2013 (Nashville), my running has been inconsistent. That fall, I halfheartedly trained for the Tuna 200 relay race; it was so much fun but didn't require much above and beyond from me. In 2014, I tackled the Uwharrie 20-mile trail run, which was so challenging (it took longer than my marathon) that it burned me out from running for several months. In the fall, I picked up running again but didn't race or have a distance event for the first time in years.

So I found myself this spring feeling out of shape, intimidated by distance running, and knowing that I needed a kick in the butt. I was coaching the half & full marathon training programs and feeling like a fraud in some ways. And so this May, I ran the Not So Normal Half-Marathon. It was muggy and hot, and I found myself discouraged by my training times. It ended up being my slowest half-marathon, but I felt proud of how my race day had gone overall--I felt strong and calm.

This summer, I handed my training over to my friend and fellow Fleet Feet coach Carolyn. In spite of my 2:21-ish half-marathon finish, Carolyn told me I would train to, and could race, a full marathon in 4:15, or a 9:45 min/mile pace.

It has been more than 22 weeks since I put my running into her hands for twice-weekly track/speed workouts and Saturday long runs, adding in a 4th day on my own. The early workouts were brutal. North Carolina humidity and heat. A body unaccustomed to pushing the pace. My typical pace for going out and running easy was closer to a 12:00 min/mile at that point; we started with a 9:00 min/mile tempo pace goal for my speed work. It felt like it took everything I had to manage it. I skipped some early workouts and experienced self-doubt.

I don't know when exactly the switch flipped, but it did. Suddenly I was hitting my targets for pace and number of reps. I pushed myself, every workout. I would receive Carolyn's weekly workout and get a nervous pit in my stomach but go into the workout with confidence--I'd been hitting targets, so I could hit this one, too. And I did. Each successful workout--I logged them in a spreadsheet and tagged successes as "W" for wins--built my confidence. My long run pace slowly crept up to a comfortable 11:00 min/mile average.

In September, we increased speedwork from tempo to interval pace--suddenly I was running 800s, 1200s, even a mile at 8:25. My long runs became less intimidating, even as we started adding race pace to the end of our runs. (Oh, the early days of race pace were so very challenging, and it was 95% mental, I realize now.)

Last weekend, our training peaked at 20 miles--17 at easy run pace, the last 3 at race pace. It was challenging--every run we do is--but I felt strong, and I blew the race pace miles out of the water, finishing on a 9:11 mile. When I trained for Nashville, I remember long stretches of walking our 15+ mile runs. We paused a few times to regroup or for aid breaks, and walked briefly once after a long, steep hill, but otherwise we were running the whole way.

I am proud of how far I've come. And I'm so deeply grateful to have had this training experience. To know that I can push myself the way that I have. Oh, it's been hard. I've become so tired in recent weeks. I'm emotionally fatigued. I've cancelled plans to see friends more times in the last month than I probably have in the last three years. I've had some workouts that haven't gone well.

But I've also made incredible friends, especially the two women I've trained with. We each have the same goal of a 4:15 and have been able to motivate and push each other through these challenging workouts. So many times their presence alone was enough to keep me moving. I don't know what will happen on race day--will we stay together? For how long? But I will always cherish the 500+ miles we've run together this season.

So here I am: 2 weeks and 2 days from race day. At this point, my preparation is mental. I'm reading race recaps from last year's Philly runners trying to get a sense for the course and crowd support. I have a visualization exercise I've been doing to help me think positively on race day, and I've read a ton of articles online about mental preparation for a marathon. I've prepared a meticulous packing list.

I don't know what will happen on race day. I'm still gathering information from experienced and recent marathoners on pacing strategy. I see two risks: going out too fast could mean hitting the wall and tanking so that I'm nowhere near my goal time... or playing the race too conservatively and finishing the race slower than goal time wondering if I could have done more, or pushed harder.

There's a fine line to walk between the two. Right now, I'm leaning toward taking the first risk. I know my body is physically prepared. My training is solid. The race hinges on my mental strength, and my what my body has in it on race day.

Regardless of what happens, I have had a challenging and rewarding training season, and I've pushed myself beyond what I thought I could. My "safety" goal is to match my Nashville time of 4:57. My "good day" goal is to be at least 10 minutes faster than Nashville. And my "ideal race day" goal? That's my training goal of 4:15.

We shall see what happens. In the meantime, I have two jobs: mentally preparing, and taking the best possible care of my body. Hydrating, sleeping and fueling well. And allowing myself to feel all the feelings you're supposed to at this point in training. Yep, I'm nervcited all right.

My Newest Challenge

Some of the best decisions I've made in my life have been based on a gut "knowing" (stronger than a feeling!) that I need to do something.

I got that tug in my gut this week. I've been picking my running efforts up steadily the last few weeks (well, apart from the snow storms that stymied all of us!) in preparation for a 10-mile race in April. This past weekend, I got in a really wonderful 7-mile run. It was challenging--extremely hilly--and I was feeling the run by the time I finished. But my strongest emotion was a sense of accomplishment at pushing myself and being able to finish that run feeling tired, but strong.

I realized how much I am craving that challenge again. The joy of training for a race that you can't wing. The nerves I feel before a hard workout, and then that sense of complete fulfillment I get when I've done it.

So, I'm training for a full marathon again this fall.

My last (and first) marathon was Nashville in spring of 2013. It poured down rain. It was colder than we'd thought it would be. The "rock 'n' roll" didn't happen because of the rain, and spectators were scarce. But when I think of that race, I feel proud of myself for persevering.

I had said all along my next marathon would be in a big city where I knew someone who could cheer for me--Marine Corps in Washington DC, or Chicago. But I have a conflict for Marine Corps this year, and Chicago is early enough in the season that I'd have to train mostly on my own, in the sweltering summer.

So, Philadelphia it is! November 22nd. Training for the race will largely align with my favorite training group, Fleet Feet, and I was surprised to learn that there is a large contingent from the group that had already planned to run Philly as well. So I'll have friends and training partners leading up to and on race day.

I'm excited. I have a lot of work to do. I'd always said I wouldn't run another marathon until I was faster, and I'm certainly not in that position now after my inconsistent training this past year. But I have at least 4 months to work on speed and hill workouts before training begins. Lots of time to work on getting stronger and fitter.

It means that I'll have to give up my responsibilities coaching for Fleet Feet, because I'll need to be able to complete the long runs with the group. I'll miss that role, but I will relish having another free weeknight that I currently commit to FF. It will require some planning to work around the weekends I'll need to be out of town for three nephew birthdays (Aug, Sep, and Oct) and our big fall fundraiser.

I know I'll hit points in training this fall when I question why I'm doing this to myself. Why did I think this was a good idea? Why I am putting myself through this?

But it will ALL be worth it--both through little victories throughout training and the race day itself. I already get nervous tickles when I think about it... but I can also feel the exhilaration of it.

I can't wait.

21 and Counting

Just a quick update: still going strong on Whole 30 and feeling good!

I made some awesome recipes this past weekend and highly recommend them:

Ginger Zucchini Soup: Updated recipe in her latest cookbook calls for 1 tsp ginger, 1 tsp ground coriander, and 2 cups of chicken broth with 2 cups of beef broth. Additional note: I LOVE my immersion blender.

Chocolate Chili: I made this with 1 lb of ground beef and left all else the same. Delicious!

Spicy Sausage, Kale & Potato Soup: To make this Whole 30, I do the following: use coconut oil, sub in Japanese sweet potato (white flesh) for white potato, use ghee for butter, and stir in coconut milk at end (for cream).

All in all, I'm feeling great and--at this point--I'm planning to keep going with Whole 30 into February. Why not?

My only two complaints are that my heart palpitations are persistent (and strong), and though I sleep the first part of the night completely passed out, dead to the world, sometime starting after 1:30 I'll wake up repeatedly. Of course, part of that is likely that I've been really focusing on getting to work at 9am (and succeeding!!) so I'm always anticipating my alarm going off.

But the best shift for me has been that I no longer wake up feeling like I got hit by a bus, which was a frequent feeling I had pre-Whole 30.

So feeling good, keeping at it!

Day 8: Feelin' Great

Just a quick update on this month's Whole 30. I'll share the good, the bad & the ugly in reverse order.

The ugly:  I came down with a nasty 24-hour stomach bug (or food poisoning?) this week. It was... awful. Unfortunately, without going into detail, it ruined my ability to eat certain foods I'd been greatly enjoying so far this month.

The bad: This is more entertaining than bad, but I've started having carb dreams, which is a known side effect of Whole 30. After I was sick, I dreamed about bagels. Last night, I dreamed about gorging on Ritz cheddar cracker sandwiches, which I haven't eaten in YEARS! I woke up feeling so bummed that I'd broken plan for something so mundane. It's amazing how your body reacts when you drop the sugar and processed foods!!

The good: Thanks to Whole 30, and my stomach affliction, I'm down 4 pounds. I also was quite proud that--apart from a few sips of ginger ale during my bug--I stuck to Whole 30. My first attempt at food was a frozen banana blended with some compliant almond milk and a heap of dried ginger. It worked! My first solid was white potato (now allowed on the plan) baked into fries with coconut oil. And so I was back on track. (Side note: I've become a ginger fiend this week.. I'm putting it in everything.)

The best takeaway for me was realizing that the foods I'd normally default to: saltines, toast, bagels--weren't going to make me feel better than real food would. (Plus since I was starting with a clean slate nutrient-wise, I wanted to do it right.)

Overall, my energy is great. I've given up coffee (I stopped when I got sick and just haven't picked it back up... so far, so good). I think I'll keep black tea in the rotation, but if I can drop black coffee that's not a bad thing. I'm sleeping well until 5am (still trying to figure this one out). I've managed lights out by 10-10:30 most nights, an improvement.

Dinner last night was delicious: zoodles cooked with egg and garlic, topped with ground beef and broccoli sauteed in coconut aminos, ginger, and garlic. Definitely a keeper for those nights when I need a 10-minute meal.

Other things of note: I watched "Guardians of the Galaxy" last weekend, and I've decided this is my theme song for the year... not necessarily for a literal interpretation of its message, but for its joy:

I love the way the main character dances through danger, and you can't listen to it without wanting to dance in a wonderfully uncool way (like he does). It's a good year to metaphorically grab the alien rat by the gut to use as a microphone. (It makes sense if you watched the clip.)

Now please excuse me while I groove to "Come and Get Your Love" and continue my 2015 goal setting for work.

Whole 30 - Day 4 Update

Welp, I'm 4 days into Whole 30 and feeling so good about it. Once again, I'm reminded how--if nothing else--it's so useful for helping me to branch out and make different meals than I normally would.

My go-to breakfast in the last month had been corn tortilla with chipotle pepper sauce, feta and egg. (White and yellow, basically.) My go to breakfast these last few days? Sauteed onion, sweet potato shreds and kale cooked with garlic and salt, then baked with 2 eggs, some prosciutto and kalamata olives. Colorful and so many more nutrients. And much as I'm a cheese addict, I don't miss it a bit.

Last night, I made the most amazing Chicken Tikka Masala from Against All Grain. I made a few modifications: I really wanted coconut milk in it, so swapped that in for the almond milk. I didn't have 2.5 cups of tomato sauce, so I used a small can of it and a can of diced tomatoes (which actually gave the dish a nice texture). I had chicken breast in the freezer and so subbed that in for thigh. I did make the cashew cream, which added a wonderful creaminess to the meal.

I simply would not have made that dish, or taken the trouble to make cashew cream, on my "normal" diet. I'm so grateful to the Whole 30 plan for opening me up to experimenting in the kitchen.

Today, I'll be making some short ribs (first time ever!) and a frittata to get me through breakfasts this week. Lunch will be my go-to tuna with homemade mayo and chock full of veggies, or leftover chicken tikka masala with salad.

I have baby bok choy and acorn squash waiting some treatment, and some zoodles (zucchini noodles) ready to go.

I've been eating luscious, full meals and minimally snacking. Unlike in past attempts, I'm not craving fruit or dessert to keep up my sugar intake. I feel balanced and even-keeled.. that's the best way I can describe it.

It's easy to start jumping into the thought that I should eat like this 100% of the time, and "I hope I keep this up longer than the month." But in line with my resolve for 2015, I'm not going to get ahead of myself. For now, it's a day at a time, with 30 total in sight. Then, we shall see.

And seriously--if you like tikka masala and can handle the fat in the recipe without fainting (it's a lot), check it out. YUM.