It was hard. I built up from running 1-2 minutes at a time to running 10 to 15 to 30 minutes at a time, and it wasn't pretty. I was a wuss, big time.
I trained for my first 10K, and it went okay. Then I kind of stopped running. A year later, the same race came up, and I trained again, knocking a good 8 minutes off my time. And then I pretty much stopped running, apart from the occasional short treadmill workout. And I didn't really start running again until three years later in the fall of 2008.
That spring, I'd moved back to NC after a rough, emotionally draining year in SC. By the time I moved back, I was carrying more weight than normal, feeling out of sorts and struggling with the knowledge that my life wasn't all that it could or should be. So in the fall, I picked up my running shoes again, struggling to mete out 2-3 miles without walking in an effort to manage my weight.
And then I got this hair-brained idea to scare myself into running more by signing up for a half-marathon.
And I did. I trained, for a little over three months. And in May 2009, I ran, and walked, a half-marathon. I felt amazing, and I wanted to be a runner: by that I mean someone who enjoyed running, even needed running, and ran a few times a week.
Then work got tough. I was pulling 14-hour days for an intense spell. All exercise stopped. I was drained, stressed and once again packed on a few extra pounds and felt pretty much gross. When things finally slowed down last summer, I hopped on the treadmill and stayed there sporadically through the fall--which is where this blog picks up. I kept thinking that with the cooler weather in the fall I would run more, but then it was so dark, and I was so tired, and I didn't ever fall into a solid routine.
Enter my half-marathon training program (HMTP) at my local Fleet Feet. I began training with the group this January, and it has been a life changing experience. This time, you see, the running is sticking, and I credit the support and friends I found through the program.
In the past, I've always run for self-improvement: to lose weight, to be healthier, more active, because I should. I force myself to try to establish a routine, then get frustrated or stressed when I feel like the routine isn't sticking.
My Fleet Feet HMTP gave me a routine--two designated running dates a week that I could not, and would not, miss because I loved the people I was running with, and I loved the exhaustion and sense of accomplishment I felt after every long run. And I only had to focus on finding another day or two a week to run. I could do that.
I won't lie--my HMTP ended with a disappointing half-marathon performance (that's another blog post to come), so I was worried I would do what I'd always done... fall off the running wagon. To stay motivated, I agreed to participate in the HMTP again this summer (we start up tomorrow!), but this time as a mentor. Someone to help push others along and keep them motivated. You've gotta walk the walk, I figured.
Following the race in April, I kept up with my running at first because I knew I needed to maintain enough fitness to keep up conversation with my mentees while we ran. Then I ran because it was getting so gosh darn hot, and I needed to get used to it so I could even physically manage to run during the summer.
But along the way, something changed for me. I suddenly realized a few weeks in that running wasn't a chore I was doing to look or feel better. It was something I not only enjoyed, but I needed.
I need that time to just be. To focus on my breath and the fall of my steps on the pavement. To sweat it out. Running has become a form of meditation, and I can see a change in the way I'm handling stress at work or at home. I'm calmer and more confident. I'm not worried about what the scale says, and my clothes are fitting better than ever. And when I miss a run or two, I don't panic because I know that I'll get back out there again.
I'm a runner, you see, and that's just what we do. Lace up, and get out there and run.
